More of Life's Little Irritations

I've noticed that most people find that similar types of behaviors irritate them.

My friend, Art, shared some of his own:

• I dislike people who don't say thanks when I do something out of the ordinary for them. (That includes my own children and women I hold doors open for.)

• And waitresses who address my wife and I as "you guys."

• And people who talk loudly on cell phones on BART and (when) walking along Lake Elizabeth.

Most people I know, including me, would agree with Art. Now the question becomes: If most people are annoyed by behaviors like the ones mentioned by Art, then who is engaging in the irritating actions?

School of Life

I often encounter people who seem to take pride in being outspoken, "speaking their minds." Usually these individuals are just plain rude. They often like to begin their caustic remarks with a caveat like: "I probably shouldn't say this but..." My reply is always: "Then don't say it!"

Humor that Victimizes Mothers and Mothers in-law

There are many ways to express humor. I love a good laugh. However, I don't enjoy humor that requires a victim in order to be funny. I much prefer situational jokes. Strangely enough, in our country of "motherhood and apple pie," mothers and mothers in-law are far too often victimized in our humor. Our media puts down mothers and mothers in-law so frequently that foreigners sometimes question how much we really value these people. After all, there's truth in jest. Maybe we need to ask ourselves how much we really treasure our mothers? Perhaps we should alert the generators of this type of humor that we don't enjoy the message it sends.

School of Life

When a door is slammed shut, a window is sure to open. This has proven true for me. The door slammed shut when my agent quit the profession, leaving me without a link to a publisher. A window opened when I got notification that my novel, Murder in a Teacup, came in second in the California Writers Club Jack London writing contest. The cash prize is nice, but adding it to my resume will be great.

School of Life

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. I know this to be true. However, sometimes it's difficult to propel yourself forward when you've had a setback. The agent who offered me a contract on my novel, Murder in a Teacup, just up and left the agency for "personal reasons." Translation: Publication of my novel is back in square one. Now I have to get tough and get going. Know any agents?

Well Begun is Half Done

Well begun is half done. I agree. However, at times it is difficult to get started on a task. Sometimes the task seems so huge or tedious that we put it off until a "more convenient time." The fact is, this rarely works. So I apply my "nibble at the mountain" strategy. Here's how I apply it to various tasks:

• If I have to vacuum, I get the vacuum cleaner out and tell myself I'll just vacuum the hall. Invariably, I vacuum the whole living room.

• If I have to write a letter, I get out my stationery and a pen. I tell myself I'll just address the envelope and write the salutation. Usually I end up completing the letter.

• If I have to edit writing pieces for my writing group, I take out the first piece and tell myself I'll just edit page one. I almost always finish editing the whole piece.

I think when I give myself permission to just do a small part of a task, psychologically I'm willing to do more because I've convinced myself that I can stop whenever I wish. This way I prevent the job from becoming a drudgery.

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